Mother's Day

Every time I keep the babies by myself I have a greater respect for what Holly does day after day. Today I kept them while she went to a Peru fundraiser for our upcoming trip in June. It's one thing to watch the babies, but she watches them, cooks, cleans, maintains herself, and looks after her man. What a woman!

Baby, I love and appreciate you more than you know! You amaze me! I realize I tell you this, but I want everyone else to know how special I believe you are. I couldn't have dreamed of a better, more perfect wife, friend, or mother. Happy Mother's Day! I love you!

Look Away

Seriously, just turn away and read no further. I do not know why I post this, but here goes. I have stomach issues. I have had them ever since I had a horrible case of Mono after my freshman year of college. At that time, my body was producing too much bile and I've had problems with my stomach or gall bladder ever since. If I eat pizza, lettuce, butter, wings, etc. I will hate life about 8 hours later. Until now I've been able to deal with it, but it is getting out of control.

Holly had a friend who just had her gall bladder removed this week. They were discussing the symptoms over Facebook when Holly mistakenly posted this as her status instead of a wall post to her friend: "He has an attack probably once or twice (sometimes more) a month. Pizza definitely does him in! He has cold sweats and lots of pain. It usually happens between 4 to 6 hours after he ate whatever sets it off." And oh how the comments poured in on this one. Laughter seemed to be a common theme among all those who chimed in.

Well laugh it up buddies! I'll show you! Tomorrow night I'm going to relay one such story of pain and agony due to gastrointestinal failure that will forever change your life. I make no apologies for the dichotomy that exists here at Pertaining to All Things Robertesque. In fact, what did you think "All Things" meant? Only spiritual? Only serious? Oh no, I relate stories about my kids pooping in the tub right next to a discourse on faith. That's just how I roll, or role. So anyway, I warn you now that if you are weak at the stomach (like me) look away tomorrow. I'm going to unleash a true tale of just one episode when my malfunctioning gall bladder went haywire, and I annihilated a local convenience store wash room. We'll see who's laughing then. Hasta mañana.

Tell Something on Your Spouse

Holly, my wife has CRAZY dreams if she eats pickles. Tonight at dinner, she had one. Tomorrow morning should make for some good stories.

Leave a comment sharing an oddity of your significant other...

Dueling Floaters

Tonight was one of those nights where I was gonna be a great husband. I let Holly go to Walmart by herself, which I have found earns me MAJOR brownie points. While she was grocery shopping I was gonna surprise her by having the babies bathed and ready for bed with a load of clothes already in the washer and the trash out to the street by the time she got home. I came in and everything was right on schedule. I put Trey and Claire Kate in the tub, and they were clean. I ran to their room and got Trey's pajamas and diaper, then ran back to check on them (at which time I had to tell Trey to quit pouring water on sister's face). Then, I ran back to their room to get all of the same stuff for Baby Girl. As I re-entered the bathroom, Trey said, "Uh oh Daddy doo doo!" I looked and there by the drain of the tub was a man sized stinky. Claire Kate, not to be outdone had managed to work up a little carrot colored doo doo of her own. Hers however was piled up on her bath hammock. This, by the way, is the first time they have ever both pooped in the tub at the same time. I paused. What do you do first in this situation? In all my years of schooling and growing up, this had never been addressed. Now I faced two babies under two in a steaming pool of their own feces. I did what any man would do in this grave situation. I walked out of the bathroom. I closed the door. I walked over to the cellphone and frantically searched for Holly's number. 

"Where are you?" 

"In the check out line." 

"Crap!" I thought as I hung up. "I will have to face this on my own!" So I got Trey out and laid him on his towel. I grabbed the wet wipes and speedily cleaned the hanger on from out of his behind and put his diaper on him. I instructed him, "Trey, listen to Daddy. Stand right here. Daddy has to clean Sister up and you don't have your pajamas on." He looked at me with a smile and a quick chuckle as he said, "Sisty doo doo."

I got CK out and cleaned up. She had cakes of baby lotion on her as I slathered her into her pajamas. Trey was then given the same quick and mostly thorough treatment. As I walked them out of the bathroom I noticed Holly coming in the door. By the time I got them settled down she had already cleaned the tub, took out the garbage, unloaded the groceries, and washed and dried 3 loads of clothes. It was like magic! How she does this day in and day out so effectively I will never know. One thing I am certain of, I won't soon forget the night Trey and Claire Kate treated me to a game of dueling floaters!

Barnicles of Beardia Part 5

My wife is a stinky cake eater, and Trey speaks Spanish!

My Woman

...is virtuous.

...is incredible.

...was made for me.

...is the love of my life.

...takes care of her man.

...is more than I deserve.

...is an incredible mother.

...is completely trusworthy.

...is more precious than jewels.

...believes I was made for her. I agree.

...surpasses all others in the area of excellency.

...is an ever present reminder of the love and grace of God on my life.

...is my woman.

Valentine's Edition of Barnicles of Beardia

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Tonight, Claire Kate was a little fussy when she was getting her night snack. Holly scolded her for her unfavorable disposition, and she stared at Holly...and stared. For about 5 minutes she stared. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't break her glare. It was hilarious. Primarily because, not only is she the spitting image of her mother, but she acts just like her! That is similar to a story I heard Holly's mom tell before. When Holly was small she had to get a shot. When the nurse injected the needle, Holly didn't cry. She just stared at the nurse with a mean look on her face, the same look her daughter gave her tonight. 

It makes me happy in my heart!

Finding the Potential

One of the things I've learned about Holly during our time together is her ability to see potential. Whether this be in an article of clothing, a piece of furniture, or a person, she can visualize what can be. It's a pretty awesome treat to watch her work, and I'm often inspired by her creativity. Here are a few examples of things she found, or bought that were broken or ugly, and she made this happen to them. I don't have before pics, but she did EVERYTHING on these pieces of furniture. These are all parts of Baby Girls room. I feel blessed to be with such an awesome chick!

PS - She will custom make some furniture for you, if you pay!!

Me and Holly

There are a lot of areas of my life that are not what I want them to be, but my marriage to Holly is pretty awesome. (This would be a good point to interject that the goodness of said marriage is due in large part to her awesomeness.) As with any marriage it's a two way street, but her lane is much bigger than mine. She's incredible at every aspect of being a wife. One of the reasons I feel like our marriage works is because we are interested in each others interests. Before we were married I could care less about paint colors, outdoor swing sets, back splashes, and pillow shams. I would have never flipped to HGTV or known who Carter Oosterhouse was. Likewise, she didn't care about the Chicago Cubs, and couldn't tell you the difference between a Fender Telecaster and Stratocaster. However, now I can match a ceramic tile with a formica countertop, and Holly can explain the difference in tone between a cedar and koa guitar top. This all happened because we love one another, and love to be together. The only logical thing that could have developed was that we gave attention to the interests of the other. It's one of my favorite parts of being married to Holly. She understands why I need that other guitar and I understand why she needs another pillow on the couch.

Labor Of Love

One of the things I love about being married to Holly is listening to her sing. This past Sunday we sang "Labor of Love" by Andrew Peterson. My good friend Mike captured it and posted it. Merry Christmas!

Top of the Thankful List

There are innumerable things I'm thankful for today, but one thing tops the list: my wife Holly. She is a wonderful mother, incredible wife, and best friend. When God put us together I gained things that I always wished for, but there are also things that I didn't even know I would want that God graciously gave me in a wife. We've been married for a little over 5 years and during that time I've seen my world spin out of control, but our relationship has been a solid, unmoving fortress. Her arms are a place of solace, and there is true love in her embrace. She listens as though mine is the only story being told, and she gives weight and care to my words. Holly respects me as her man, and backs our decisions even if she may not feel it's the best way to go. I love the simple things about her, like watching her blow-dry her hair, seeing her kiss our children, and her beautiful smile. I could not have dreamed up a more perfect dream woman!

Baby, when you read this know that you are my girl, friend, wife, lover, partner, confidant, make-out buddy, and the top of the list of blessings from God that I am MOST thankful for. I LOVE and APPRECIATE you more than words can describe! Thank You!

Poison Control

This afternoon I was at work when my cell phone rang.  Holly called to let me know she had to call poison control for our son.

Holly is such a GREAT mom.  I have no idea how she gets everything done around the house with 2 babies.  Claire Kate isn't moving yet, but Trey is into everything!  I think if we had a pet raccoon it would get into less than Trey does.  When he is awake he is constantly moving.  We decided early on that we would let our kids be kids and enjoy life, so we let Trey explore.  Holly and I give him boundaries, but he's pretty free to play and move.

Today, Trey was awake during one of Claire Kate's meals.  Holly was watching him, but it's impossible to follow Trey while she is breast feeding.  He came in the room holding a squeeze tube.  No big deal! He carries things around the house all the time.  As Trey got closer Holly could see that there was white cream around his mouth, and he was chewing.  Holly put Claire Kate down and found that our son had confiscated Desitin diaper rash ointment from Baby Girl's bag.  He helped himself to a couple of squeezes, and seemed quite happy about it.  It says on the tube, and I quote, "For external use only.  If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away."  Oh great!  So, Holly called them, and they instructed her to give him something to drink.  She did just as they said, and he never acted like there was anything wrong.  They also called a few hours later to check on him, which I thought was nice.

Anyway, this was our first call to Poison Control as parents.  I anticipate it won't be the last with a little pet coon, Desitin eater on our hands.