Barnicles of Beardia, or Last of the Mohicans

Dueling Floaters

Tonight was one of those nights where I was gonna be a great husband. I let Holly go to Walmart by herself, which I have found earns me MAJOR brownie points. While she was grocery shopping I was gonna surprise her by having the babies bathed and ready for bed with a load of clothes already in the washer and the trash out to the street by the time she got home. I came in and everything was right on schedule. I put Trey and Claire Kate in the tub, and they were clean. I ran to their room and got Trey's pajamas and diaper, then ran back to check on them (at which time I had to tell Trey to quit pouring water on sister's face). Then, I ran back to their room to get all of the same stuff for Baby Girl. As I re-entered the bathroom, Trey said, "Uh oh Daddy doo doo!" I looked and there by the drain of the tub was a man sized stinky. Claire Kate, not to be outdone had managed to work up a little carrot colored doo doo of her own. Hers however was piled up on her bath hammock. This, by the way, is the first time they have ever both pooped in the tub at the same time. I paused. What do you do first in this situation? In all my years of schooling and growing up, this had never been addressed. Now I faced two babies under two in a steaming pool of their own feces. I did what any man would do in this grave situation. I walked out of the bathroom. I closed the door. I walked over to the cellphone and frantically searched for Holly's number. 

"Where are you?" 

"In the check out line." 

"Crap!" I thought as I hung up. "I will have to face this on my own!" So I got Trey out and laid him on his towel. I grabbed the wet wipes and speedily cleaned the hanger on from out of his behind and put his diaper on him. I instructed him, "Trey, listen to Daddy. Stand right here. Daddy has to clean Sister up and you don't have your pajamas on." He looked at me with a smile and a quick chuckle as he said, "Sisty doo doo."

I got CK out and cleaned up. She had cakes of baby lotion on her as I slathered her into her pajamas. Trey was then given the same quick and mostly thorough treatment. As I walked them out of the bathroom I noticed Holly coming in the door. By the time I got them settled down she had already cleaned the tub, took out the garbage, unloaded the groceries, and washed and dried 3 loads of clothes. It was like magic! How she does this day in and day out so effectively I will never know. One thing I am certain of, I won't soon forget the night Trey and Claire Kate treated me to a game of dueling floaters!

Barnicles of Beardia Part 5

My wife is a stinky cake eater, and Trey speaks Spanish!

Trey's first song

Trey sang his first song today. I guess to clarify, it was the first song that he's sung with words we could understand. He sings all the time, but we have no clue what he is singing. Trey also is in a big stage of association. For example, my brother Adam has a dog named Max. Every day, about 6 times a day, Trey goes through a roll of everyone he knows, and wants to know where they are. It was very cute the first 10,000 times he did it. Whenever he mentions "Uncle Adii" he quickly follows with asking about Max. Yesterday, he began associating Uncle Jo Jo with sleep, and he calls my dad Bobbo (Imagine Bob with a long o sound). All that being explained, his song today went something like this:

Bobboooooooo Bobbooooo

Adiiiiiiiiii

Jo Jo Night night

Max

It was a pretty funny, yet beautiful first song. Like father like son I suppose.

I'll Ask, You Answer

What or where is your dream vacation?

My Woman

...is virtuous.

...is incredible.

...was made for me.

...is the love of my life.

...takes care of her man.

...is more than I deserve.

...is an incredible mother.

...is completely trusworthy.

...is more precious than jewels.

...believes I was made for her. I agree.

...surpasses all others in the area of excellency.

...is an ever present reminder of the love and grace of God on my life.

...is my woman.

Valentine's Edition of Barnicles of Beardia