Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Look Away

Seriously, just turn away and read no further. I do not know why I post this, but here goes. I have stomach issues. I have had them ever since I had a horrible case of Mono after my freshman year of college. At that time, my body was producing too much bile and I've had problems with my stomach or gall bladder ever since. If I eat pizza, lettuce, butter, wings, etc. I will hate life about 8 hours later. Until now I've been able to deal with it, but it is getting out of control.

Holly had a friend who just had her gall bladder removed this week. They were discussing the symptoms over Facebook when Holly mistakenly posted this as her status instead of a wall post to her friend: "He has an attack probably once or twice (sometimes more) a month. Pizza definitely does him in! He has cold sweats and lots of pain. It usually happens between 4 to 6 hours after he ate whatever sets it off." And oh how the comments poured in on this one. Laughter seemed to be a common theme among all those who chimed in.

Well laugh it up buddies! I'll show you! Tomorrow night I'm going to relay one such story of pain and agony due to gastrointestinal failure that will forever change your life. I make no apologies for the dichotomy that exists here at Pertaining to All Things Robertesque. In fact, what did you think "All Things" meant? Only spiritual? Only serious? Oh no, I relate stories about my kids pooping in the tub right next to a discourse on faith. That's just how I roll, or role. So anyway, I warn you now that if you are weak at the stomach (like me) look away tomorrow. I'm going to unleash a true tale of just one episode when my malfunctioning gall bladder went haywire, and I annihilated a local convenience store wash room. We'll see who's laughing then. Hasta mañana.
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